where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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