Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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