It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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