1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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