Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
