I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have post one night stand depression
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