Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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