i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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