CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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