you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize