Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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