why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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