i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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