we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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