Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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