I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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