i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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