Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize