U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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