do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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