can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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