I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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