walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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