bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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