i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
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Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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