belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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