I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize