She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize