yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize