Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize