we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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