its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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