Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize