I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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