I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize