She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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