Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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