420 ftw
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize