Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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