Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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