something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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i've created a new STD.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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