**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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