I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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