Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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