There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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