brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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