I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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