I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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