Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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