shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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