So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize